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Grand Staircase-Escalante + Baby

Part 3 in a series on exploring the American West with an 8 week old

By Tommy Nagle

July 25^th, 2019

When you say where you're going in the American West, most folks will recognise the names of the National Parks, but the National Monuments are a different beast.

At the time of writing, the US has 129 National Monuments, protected areas of land that may or may not contain:

"historic landmarks, historic and prehistoric structures, and other objects of historic or scientific interest."

You can imagine them writing the above (part of the American Antiquities Act of 1906), sitting in a wood-panelled room, late at night: ‏‏‎

‏"John, how many times is too many to write the same word? In this, case, 'historic'? I want people to get the impression that we're real keen on, y'know, protecting historic stuff."

"Well Robert, I don't rightly know. How many times have you written it so far?"

"Um, four times in one sentence."

"Robert?"

"Yes John?"

"You're fired."

Grand Staircase-Escalante was established in September 1996, and spans over a million acres of southern Utah, that's bigger than Hong Kong and Luxembourg put together. It encompasses the Grand Staircase, the Kaiparowits Plateau, and the Canyons of the Escalante.

We had settled in gently for the first few days of our RV experience, treating ourselves to staying in RV parks and enjoying all the perks that came with them: hooking up to electricity and water, having the use of proper showers and so on.

So it was with a little trepidation we took to the unpaved roads of the Grand Staircase, with the intention of seeing the apostrophe-less Devils Garden* and then 'dry camping' or 'boondocking' (both of which must be euphemisms for deviant sensual exploits, and if they're not then someone's missing a trick) in the middle of nowhere.

*Named in 1979. In most cases, physical features named by the USGS don't have an apostrophe. So now you know.

The unpaved roads were very much a necessary evil, as they're the only way to get to some of the more remote sights. We didn't have a giant-tyred monster truck motorhome, so driving these routes was slow, tedious going. As to whether that breached the conditions of our RV rental, well, we'll quietly skip over that.

We were driving slowly down Hole-In-The-Rock Road, the crockery jangling around in the back of the van like an agitated canary in a coal mine, when someone in a high-clearance truck flew past at 50 miles an hour, leaving us in a cloud of dust.

Then it got worse.

Specifically, 'washboarding', where the dirt road is deformed by the procession of vehicles into small, successive ruts, like an old washboard. And yes, driving on such a road is how you would imagine:

Bumpy if you go slowly.

Really bumpy if you go fast.

We were ever so slightly worried Rollo would get brain damage from all the bumps he had to endure. The jury's still out, I'll report back in a few years if anything's amiss.

Firstly, and most importantly, no one has found a way to put a fence around the place (yet), so currently the Devils Garden is free to visit.

It is what is termed by the Utahn authorities as a 'natural playground'.

Filled with rock formations, sculpted over 170 million years by wind, ice and thermal erosion into sandstone arches, monoliths and hoodoos (see the Bryce Canyon story for more explanation of what hoodoos are).

There are many formations, from the Four Wise Men, Gnome Rock, and the Marching Trolls, to the more indigenously-named Mano Arch and Metate Arch.

The well-defined layers of red and white sandstone are the parts the erode the fastest (it's all relative), and the caprock is essentially erosion resistant.

We didn't particularly want to drive all the way back down the road and risk further brain damage, so we drove on a little way, eventually finding a remote paddock where we were able to camp for the night.

Sometimes simpler is better. There's nothing quite like a grilled cheese sandwich.

⊗

It was eerily quiet out there in the boonies.

Lucy was convinced we going to be eaten by wild wolves, or a psychopathic rancher was going to bang on the window of the RV in the middle of the night and murder us for trespassing. I can happily confirm that neither of these happened.

Did You Know?

The first place to be designated a National Monument was The Devils Tower in Wyoming, by Teddy Roosevelt in 1906. It's famous for its prominent role in Close Encounters of the Third Kind, immortalised in mashed potato on Richard Dreyfuss' dinner plate.

We awoke to another glorious morning with a view of the Grand Staircase on the right

The destination for the day was further down the bumpy, Hole-In-The-Rock Road, 26 miles in total from the main highway.

Part way down the road, off a short turn-off, was a flattened parking area, designated for visitors to the Dry Fork Narrows or 'eerie slot'. One car was already there, slowly baking in the morning sun.

Dry Fork is the perfect introduction to slot canyons, since it's easy to access and easy to hike. The trailhead was down another road, but it was unpaved, rock-strewn and sloping, and therefore only suitable for 4x4s. So we packed up our supplies and walked about a mile to the start of the hike.

The hike began down a well-worn brick-red path, under a cerulean sky.

Down a slanting stepped rock face, past rock cairns, and to a shade-giving navajo sandstone wall.

And then into the canyon, its high walls swirling and diving, like wind made solid.

Everywhere, evidence of the elements in action.

Then suddenly the narrows open up.

It was here we met some of the canyon's occupants.

Some hairier than others.

The colours and forms bubble and pop, like lava frozen in time.

We even made time for a short father and son photoshoot.

⇡ A car sped down the road, leaving a line of dust in its wake ⇡

On our way back out of the canyon, we met a British family from London.

Their daughter wanted to know why our baby couldn't talk yet.

Apparently everyone should be talking at two months old...

It was sweet relief when we eventually got back to the main road.

That evening we boondocked again just off the main highway.

What a great view to look over while you cook dinner.

Next morning, though the road looked inviting, the river beckoned.

We loosened up with a sedate walk along the banks of the Escalante river, teeming with colours and life, unlike the start of the trail, where a dead tree stood sentinel behind a rusting trail register box.

Flowers were in bloom.

Leaves of bottle green and canary yellow.

We ate our sandwiches next to the water, gently burbling among the rocks.

The following day, we stopped at the same viewpoint we had visited the day prior.

It was a flat, grey day, storm clouds threatening in the distance.

If you can't see the river itself, you can see its path, the trees snaking their way through the landscape like a giant ribbon.

Lower Calf Creek falls is a six mile, out-and-back hike along the banks of the aforementioned Calf Creek, bordered by mineral-streaked cliffs with ancient petroglyph rock art (see below) and beaver ponds, ending at a cool, shaded waterfall.

I mentioned 'desert varnish' in a previous story. Below is another example. It almost looks like a glitch, like the wall of rock has been stretched.

The Bureau of Land Management provides an interesting little pamphlet/map, and markers for an interpretive trail, where you can learn more about the area.

Standing among the green of the horsetail reeds, the red of the cliffs and the yellow of the boxelder trees.

The next destination was Capitol Reef national park. The road ran along a ridge, high above the valleys either side, where the river's path became even more obvious.

Capitol Reef was 50 miles north, through the mountains.

WARNING: Three panoramas in a row.

Coming down out of the cold mountain air and evergreen trees, all of a sudden the landscape became very 'wild west' again, signalling the approach of Capitol Reef.

Some of the darkest night skies in the US, weren't far off...

Join us next time for the following installment of the +Baby Series, with me, your host, Tommy Nagle, Esq, where we'll visit Capitol Reef National Park, including Cassidy Arch, The Fremont River and the Chimney Rock trail. Now get off my lawn:

CAPITOL REEF +BABY

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And if you missed the previous story in this series, then you can find it here:

Bryce Canyon +Baby

Oh, PS: Thanks for reading! If you liked this, click the 'ENJOY' button (either at the top or the bottom of the page), it tells me I'm doing something right.